I want to wake up in the morning and smile because its natural. i want to get out of bed because there are beautiful things to be seen. I want to eat and drink and exersize. I want to smile because my life is filled with wonderful people. i want to laugh because lifes to short and things are funnier when you just allow them to be. I want my best friend to be the person i make a life with. The person that will always tell me to be me and always support me because it's just what you do. BUT i want them to believe in everything i do. I want them to understand me and what i need because...I am ME.

5 weeks in Maine...and i let myself totally lose myself here. Forgot about my blog and my want to keep track of my adventures here. It's been an interesting first month and here's the bottom line. I left what i was comfortable with and what i was a "part" of. And there is NOT one thing I'd do differently now. I don;t have a single regret in any of my choices here or any of the choices i made in coming here. My life feels so different and even I feel a bit different. I found a job instantly and I am back to doing what i have always insisted i do on my own. Taking care of myself is a part of who i am...maybe the stubborn side but it's who i am and what i live to do. It's not all easy peasy. I have a lot to learn in order to be the most successful i can be at this job. But i have faith in myself. I finally did exactly what i have wanted to do for so many years.  I am finding myself and I AM enjoying every second.

So after forgetting about the blog and feeling badly that i didn';t keep up with it like I'd hoped...i realized, you don;t have to write down the best memories of your life. They create themselves in their own time and the ones that really matter stick..just as they should. This is just the beginning and I am looking forward to living my life, everyday just as one should be. " You only live once, don't slow down" spoken by a very inspiring person now in my life. That's exactly the way i plan to live.

A few days in Maine

It was finally ALMOST time to leave New York. So i called and left a message for the women at the management company that was renting me my apartment. Naturally i wanted to confirm our appointment for me to sign my lease and pick up my keys. After leaving her a message i scheduled my U-Haul for the following day and continued to get amped up and ready. But to my absolute shock...i got a call the next afternoon. Just 18 hours before i was planning to hit the road for Maine and only 2 hours after picking up my U-Haul and packing it full, I got a call back. "The apartment isn;t ready yet. We'll just have to set an appointment for next week" Naturally my response was my chin to the floor.

There are a ton of cliche's about Maine...Many of which my own friends have picked fun at. Nothing to get defensive about though. There can plenty said about New Yorkers...not even going to go there. But the one thing people laughed at me for...was the state's welcome sign. "Welcome to Maine, The way life should be"
People ask...."Now what in the hell does that mean?? The way life should be....hmm toothless, flannel flaunting, L.L. Bean wearing...what else Jackie, I don;t get it. Haha"
But truthfully, there's a serious sense of calm in this state. A sense of calm that you can;t call boring. There a ton of stuff to do in Maine...365 days a year. But the sense of urgency isn';t there constantly like it is in New York. The high taxes, the stress, the traffic don;t exist here. The fact that you can leave your garage open for your cat to come and go as they please and not worry about being robbed because people look out for one another. Everyone waves...people are courteous!!! Your neighbors don;t avoid you like the plague...they say hello and how are you. There is nothing nicer to me that saying hello to someone or holding a door for someone...and they are genuinely thankful and sincere. I love that i am not surrounded by 100,000 dollar cars and million dollar homes. People here drive normal 30,000 cars and live in beautifully kept homes that suit their lifestyle.

A walk around my sisters neighborhood with my neice in her stroller on a monday morning. The street was quiet and peaceful. All i heard was the buzz of a weedwacker in the distance, birds, bumblebees humming loudly flcoked in a tree blooming with beautiful flowers. And it took no more than 5 minutes to put my niece into a peaceful sound sleep.

My days of living in New York are slowing passing me by. Today, I had my first emotional experience saying goodbye to someone i love. Someone who showed me what real love is all about. Madison Elizabeth, my oh so special friend is just 3 and a half years old and hugged me today like i have NEVER been hugged before. Maybe it's her innocence in the world... Or...maybe its just the clear sincerity that came with the tear she shed as we said goodbye. But either way...she helped kick off this dream of mine that i am about to skip off into.

She left me with a kiss and a smile after her mother promised a girls only weekend up to Maine to visit Aunt Jackie...The smile was all i needed to make my day. <3